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11/14/2009 里面最近看《蜗居》，一个发生在上海的故事。
一个单纯的女孩子海藻，对钱本没有太多的概念，为了姐姐而借下六万，却竟然仅仅因为这六万，跟一个大自己二十岁的有妇之夫发生一段不伦的关系。自己明明有一个很可爱，长得也不错，对自己也很好的男友，竟然就这样陷入一段这样的关系中。 荒谬？真的很荒谬，六万很多吗，自己男友不好吗？可为什么跟一个妓女一样将自己出卖？ 这个荒谬的故事，展现出这样一个现实得可怕的社会。 六万多吗？并不多，即使普通的白领，工作一年的年薪，也差不多有这个数了吧，省吃俭用，两年也能还清了吧。一点都不多！那十二万多吗？也不多？那好，二十万呢？三十万？五十万？报个数，到你觉得多，觉得负担不起为止。那么这个数，就是你的价码。 也许并不荒谬呢！在这样的社会里，每个人都是一件商品，每个人都被贴上一个无形的价码。十万，可以让一个人勤奋地工作一年；二十万，可以让一个人心甘情愿地做自己不喜欢的职业；三十万，就可以让人毕恭毕敬地为你服务；四十万，你可以拥有一个仆人；五十万，六十万，七十万……多少钱，你愿意出卖你的身体？好吧，你有你的做人底线，你绝不会为钱出卖身体！那如果你有一个贫困的家庭，突然亲人病倒，需要一大笔钱，否则活不过三个月呢？如果你辛苦经营的公司突然陷入财政危机，有这笔钱，你就可以度过这段低潮，他日东山再起，否则再无翻身之日？又或者……还有很多残酷的假设，即使你只沾上边，也可以让你痛不欲生，你会不会为了钱出卖自己的身体，就一次？什么？你福星高照，从没有也绝不会碰上这些灾祸？也行！总之你是无论如何也不会出卖身体出卖尊严的。 那么你的那些梦想呢，你的那些原则呢？儿时曾立志做一名解放军！哈哈，当然不是指的儿时幼稚的梦想。上大学时，有没有梦想抱着心爱的吉他浪迹天涯，背着可爱的画板攀上高耸的险峰，挎着沉甸的相机穿越无边的原始森林……或者，仅仅是和最爱的人，安安静静地生活。这些，你还记得吗？ 曾经，你为说一句谎话忏悔了多久？你因为朋友对其他人的一句谄媚耻笑了他半个学期？你也曾从灵魂里鄙视一个走后门的人，获得一个本不应该他获得的东西——其实即便没有这个人，这东西也跟你本就毫无关系。 而现在呢，你一定记不得你每天要跟不同的人说多少句违心的话；你今天是不是又偷偷耻笑了一个刚毕业什么都不懂不会巴结前辈说话一点都不艺术的楞头青；前几天，是不是打心底里羡慕一个背景深厚的青年才俊被破格提拔为部门经理，即使自己是候选人之一，也输得心服口服？ 是多少钱，让你将这些梦想和原则放下了？一百万？五十万？二十万？抑或仅仅是为了混口饭？有时候，你觉得自己很值钱，其实当你翻开自己的价码时，你才发现你一直不知道自己原来这么贱。 海藻刚出现时，多单纯的一个女孩，怯怯地瞄，微微地笑，欢快地跳。转眼，她就已经可以游走于小贝和宋思明两个男人之间，笑得依旧很单纯，眼神中多了份坚定，姐姐海萍都无法改变的坚定。 她并不仅仅是为了那六万而跟了这个年纪可以当她爸爸的男人，而是那份安全感——一份在任何时候她碰到任何困难，他都可以轻松帮她解决的安全感。小贝可以带给她快乐，带给她幸福，却没法给她百分之百的安全感。呵呵，一个没有背景的二十多岁的年轻人，在上海这个大都市打拼，如何能给另一个人带来百分之百的安全感？晚上将她搂得再紧，在一个不属于自己的房子里，也无法将她的心捂到安全的温度。 房子，只是一个符号，而这个符号，注定不是一个贫穷的年轻人所能拥有。那么除了青春，贫穷快乐的年轻人，你怎么跟功成名就的成熟男人竞争？你说自己是潜力股，将来必将飞黄腾达？那好，到那一天你再来找我；又或者，到那一天你可以当一回“宋思明”，找个“曾经的我”。 宋思明有句话说得很对，金钱不是万能的，但是通往心灵上的满足有很多条路，金钱是其中的一条。 海藻不愿意放弃小贝，因为小贝带给她快乐，也将带给她未来；但她也放不下宋思明，因为宋思明给她安全感，给她现在。 我不鄙视海藻，因为她是个软弱而又坚强，可怜而又可爱的女孩。更重要的是，你你我我，多多少少，都是海藻。 巧合的是，一边胡乱码着这些字，一边电影台放着《如果·爱》。写字的同时重温这部电影，周迅饰演的老孙，跟海藻完全不同的个性和经历，却在某种程度上出奇的相似。 电视里飘扬着影片的插曲《外面》，源于齐秦的《外面的世界》，无奈而悲伤： 外面的世界很精彩 我出去会不会失败 外面的世界特别慷慨 闯出去我就可以活过来 留在这里我看不到现在 我要出去寻找我的未来 下定了决心改变日子真难捱 吹熄了蜡烛愿望就是离开 我出去会变得可爱 外面的机会来得很快 我一定找到自己的存在 一离开头也不转不回来 我离开永远都不再回来 8/10/2009 瑞士秋游记行8/9/2009 瑞士秋游记行八 温泉乡之旅·别了阿尔卑斯2007年10月16日 晴
早上要赶去一百多公里外的洛伊克巴德(Leukerbud)试试瑞士有名的温泉，所以天还没亮就起床了。今天是此次瑞士之行的最后一天，心情有点莫名的低落。草草收拾好行李，去楼下自助早餐往胃里塞了许多香肠奶酪羊角面包和果汁，时间紧迫，没来得及吃饱，只好顺便往饭盒里装几个在火车上充饥。
火车一路向西行驶了一个多小时，下了火车后必须得换乘巴士进入山中的洛伊克巴德，在巴士上绕着上路又前行了半个多小时，终于到了传说中的洛伊克巴德。
这是一个小得不能再小的镇子，整个镇子基本上只有一条街，是由罗马人发现的著名深山温泉地，歌德、莫泊桑及大仲马等都游访过这里。洛伊克巴德共有22家室内、外温泉浴池，是阿尔卑斯山最大的高山浴场中心。对不是在当地宾馆入住的游客有公共温泉浴池布尔格巴德温泉中心(Burgerbad)和阿尔卑斯温泉中心(Alpentherme)。如果是热爱泡温泉的人士可以提前一天到这里，下榻一间宾馆，宾馆一定会有私人的温泉。
我们选择了历史更为悠久的布尔格巴德温泉中心。这里的温泉更像是一个游泳池，而非想象中的那种罗马浴池或日式的山石浴池。
在群山怀抱中的室外温泉浴池——布尔格巴德
 温泉里有室内室外各种各样的池子，室内的池子有老师教水中体操，一群大爷大妈在练着，于是我们就游到室外的池子中，坐在其中独立的一些小池子中一边享受从池底冲上来的水流的按摩，一边仰望四围的山峰——感觉相当惬意。
时间很快就过去了，早早起床所带的困意也被暖热的温泉水泡得无影无踪。我们冲了个澡，换好衣服，准备返程了。
洛伊克巴德唯一的一条主干道
 再次坐着巴士回到火车站，我们就坐上一趟终点日内瓦的列车，向我们瑞士之旅的最后一个城市日内瓦前进。一路经过头一晚住的蒙特勒，到了日内瓦沿岸中部的洛桑(Lausanne)，一时兴起，准备去这个城市稍微逛一圈。洛桑是奥林匹克中心的所在地，也是日内瓦沿岸的一颗明珠。
时间很有限，我们只来得及坐着环城汽车绕到奥林匹克公园的门口下来，在门口逛了一圈，就得再次坐上车回到火车站，继续前行。很快我们就来到了目的地——日内瓦。日内瓦因联合国所在地而久负盛名，大部分游客都会去联合国的大门留影一张。我们可能属于那一小部分吧，联合国前的各国国旗对我们的吸引力不大，我们还是愿意多在市内游荡一下。
日内瓦湖畔
 湖中心数十米高的喷泉
 日内瓦的景点还有一个在网上炒得比较热的是花钟——就是一个由花拼成的钟。说实话这种东西国内都有，就不费那脚劲跑那么远去看一分钟了。我们在日内瓦的市区闲逛，出入各个街边小店，买了几把瑞士军刀和一个小鸟报时的木头钟——这个钟后来挂在了vivi家，但是完全不好用。不仅滴答滴答的声音在深夜特别影响人睡眠，而且每天慢一个钟头，充分证明即使是瑞士的钟表，也不是传说中的那么精准。只要是便宜货（其实也不是那么便宜，10瑞郎，50块钱呢），无论哪个国家出品的都是垃圾。
登机的时刻快到了，我们坐上直达机场地底下的火车，与日内瓦湖告别。当飞机腾空而起的那一刻，有不舍，也有因为旅行疲惫而对回家的一种渴望。我个人对于旅游的要求、尤其是四处奔波的旅行，一个星期是极限。一个星期以内有新奇和兴奋，超过一个星期就会有身处异地的落寞和疲于奔命的不耐烦。所以八天的瑞士之旅恰到好处，这八天的一切都历历在目，即使时隔两年，看着照片也能回忆起很多，不会因为长时间走马观花似的驴行而看了后面忘了前面。
在飞机上可远远看到少女峰，与阿尔卑斯山作告别
 别了瑞士，希望以后还能回来此地重游。 6/1/2009 瑞士秋游记行七 黄金线向西：目标蒙特勒2009年6月，距07年10月的瑞士之旅已经过去20个月。有时候在脑子里淡淡地想想，瑞士似乎是两种颜色：绿色的植被和湖水，以及白色的雪山和云朵。瑞士的印象渐渐褪化为几个具体但是模糊的事物，几乎用“雪山碧水”这几个字就可以等同对瑞士的全部记忆。直到重新打开瑞士行的照片文件夹，密密麻麻的照片缩略图唰唰地蹦出来，细小看不真切，但一张张都似曾相识，变成无数只手，从脑子深处将记录那8天美妙行程的化学分子激活；然后将照片打开全屏观看，就感觉站在蹦极跳台的边缘，纵身一跃就跳入了那片回忆。
2007年10月15日 晴
昨晚是在伯尔尼(Bern)待的最后一晚，很喜欢这个城市，尤其是绕着伯尔尼古城的阿勒河，于是在离开这个城市的早上又去沿着河慢悠悠地走了一圈。河水依旧清澈恬静，缓缓地流过古城的山基，带走旧的记忆，带来新的生命。
河水倒映着远远的伯尔尼大教堂(Münster Cathedral)
 沿着这条楼梯长廊拾级而上，就到达了山腰上的古城
 最后我们还是坐上了离开伯尔尼的列车，驶向因特拉肯(Interlaken)。我们原本的计划，是在因特拉肯去坐头天并没坐上的穿梭于因特拉肯与布里恩茨(Brienz)之间、徜徉于布里恩茨湖上的轮船——因为自从头天晚上路过那美绝的布里恩茨湖，但未能荡漾湖上，那一片碧绿变在眼前挥之不去。等我们从因特拉肯火车站步行几分钟来到港口，准备一了心愿时，却发现今天竟然是该航线进入秋冬季停航的头一天，也就是说昨天在布里恩茨港口远远望见的那最后一班的船影子，竟几乎成为最后一面——因为下一次来到这片湖，不知会是多少次闭眼睁眼后的年岁，抑或是闭眼却不再睁开的永诀。
也许遗憾注定是每趟旅程挥之不去的阴影，即使这里的太阳如此的灿烂。于是只好用相机在岸边记录下这片绿水，还有那始终未能涉足的轮船。
未能踏上的布里恩茨号
 这艘小船也将在这汪清水中安静地躺上5个月吗？
带着惆怅，我们只好坐上下一班金色山口列车，沿着黄金线一路向西，去往蒙特勒(Montreux)。一路湖光山色的黄金线也许是忘掉烦恼的良方，坐在全景车厢迎接扑面而来的绿色盛宴，心情会很快愉悦起来。我们要去往数百公里外的茨魏西门(Zweisimmen)换乘另一趟金色山口快车，首先经过的仍然是因特拉肯与图恩(Thun)之间的图恩湖。
列车两旁连绵不绝的是绿色的植物和穿插其中的小房子
农家马场
山谷中的村落
 头等的全景车厢在整列火车的最后一节，走到车尾也有座位可以直接看后方的景色
 被我们甩在身后的铁轨
 这段黄金线之旅远比想象的要长，因为金色山口列车的初衷就是为了乘坐火车的游客悠闲地欣赏一路上的风景，所以火车既是交通工具，又是游玩工具，于是速度那也叫相当慢。过了足有两个多小时，才到茨魏西门，换乘另一趟金色山口列车，继续西行。这一路仍然夹在山坳里的咖啡色别墅、羊群、牛群、马群，以及连绵不绝的绿……又过了两个小时，列车两旁的山峦逐渐增多，火车行进得也越发吃力。直到绕过一片山，突然展现在眼前的，是一片无边无际的波光，在山脚下延伸，边界消失在烈日下的薄幕中。
这，便是日内瓦(Geneva)湖了
 太阳在湖中的倒影
 蒙特勒(Montreux)坐落在日内瓦湖畔，靠近向下弯曲的弯月形的日内瓦湖东边的尖角，日内瓦湖西边的尖角就是联合国总部日内瓦的所在地，而在两地的中间、月弯的地腰处，就是奥林匹克公园所在地洛桑(Lausanne)。
从山顶上走着“之”字形的铁路，又用了半个多小时，我们才终于到达山脚下湖畔的蒙特勒车站。出了车站我们第一件事就是去站内的旅游信息中心打听温泉的所在地——久负盛名的洛伊克巴德(Leukerbad)的信息。虽然这趟黄金线列车之旅美景如画，但我们却没预料到会花费四五个小时（因特拉肯到蒙特路路程仅仅120多公里，如果是中国的动车只需要半个多小时就能到达。但由于这一路是在群山之中，开山劈石上山下山，即使普通的运输列车也要开2个多小时之久，而观光的金色山口列车则用了4个小时之久，平均时速为30公里/小时，只比骑自行车快一点）。原本计划当天到达蒙特勒，去宾馆放下行李后就直奔洛伊克巴德，晚上在群山中泡着露天温泉，在池中仰望山顶的雪峰，倾听夜晚大自然的轻语……只是此时已经下午四点，今日梦想的温泉之旅怕是悬了。仔细打听之后，果然今日成行已经不可能——虽然火车过去的行程只要一个多小时，但在下车后还要乘坐几十分钟的大巴进入群山之中，而且一路悬崖，晚上开不安全。一般要想晚上在洛伊克巴德泡温泉，需要在当地住宿才行。
没办法，只好把这趟温泉之旅推到明天上午，早点起床赶过去洗个晨澡，带着瑞士的水气飞回英国了。首先我们去寻找之前预订的酒店，把行李放下之后再在蒙特勒这个美丽的城市好好逛逛。蒙特勒位于日内瓦湖景色最宜人的地点，这里有温和的气候，充足的日照量和舒适的温度。流经欧洲众多国家的莱茵河也穿过这里，所以蒙特勒又被称为“瑞士的里维埃拉”。因为这里美妙的景色，卢梭、拜伦和海明威都曾以蒙特勒为背景进行创作。离蒙特勒市中心不远的就是闻名遐迩的西庸古堡(Chateau de Chillon)，其建造在突入日内瓦湖的岩石上，犹如一座漂浮在日内瓦湖上的古堡。西庸古堡最早建于将近1000年前，不断的翻新扩张之后，在13、14世纪成为萨瓦公爵的夏宫，达到鼎盛。这座极富浪漫色彩的古堡曾经吸引大仲马和雨果等许多诗人和画家，威名远扬，尤其以拜伦写的《西庸囚徒》最为耳熟能详。
由于蒙特勒得天独厚的地理优势和风景，我们订了市中心的一家不错的宾馆，离日内瓦湖只有数步之遥。
两扇大落地窗外的阳台就可以眺望日内瓦湖
 在房间稍事休息，我们就出发去日内瓦湖边走走
 蒙特勒有众多的五星级宾馆等豪华设施，很多明星都在此定居，沿日内瓦湖岸很多别墅和酒店
岸边风景很赞
 ……
 日内瓦湖和阿尔卑斯山
 远远地可以看到湖边的西庸古堡
 沿着湖岸走了一遭，买了几个汉堡果腹，坐上公车直奔西庸古堡。西庸古堡离市中心并不远，大概四五站路的距离，步行至多40分钟也可以到达。
西庸古堡和英国的城堡无论是在建筑材料上还是造型上都有所区别，西庸古堡呈淡棕色，顶部是暗棕红，颇具童话色彩而英国的城堡大都呈灰色，而且高墙阔瓦，显得阴冷肃穆。
古堡边的小码头
 在西庸古堡爬上爬下观摩了一番，天色渐渐暗了，我们也决定返回。
远远地看一眼
 太阳落到阿尔卑斯山后的日内瓦湖
 漂浮的城堡
 留影
 回到市中心，灯火辉煌，在市中心游荡了一会儿，买了些当地的小吃，带回宾馆坐在阳台上看着车河和日内瓦湖好好享用
由于第二天一大早就要起床去赶最早一班去往洛伊克巴德的火车，所以得早点睡觉。蒙特勒这个城市还没来得及在脑子里印下足够深刻的痕迹，就要离开。也许将来还有机会，可以在这里待得更久，细细品味这个被众多文人墨客歌颂过的地方。
附 拜伦 《西庸的囚徒》
The Prisoner of Chillon
by Lord Byron (1788-1824) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I
My hair is gray, but not with years, Nor grew it white In a single night, As men's have grown from sudden fears: My limbs are bow'd, though not with toil, But rusted with a vile repose, For they have been a dungeon's spoil, And mine has been the fate of those To whom the goodly earth and air Are bann'd, and barr'd - forbidden fare; But this was for my father's faith I suffer'd chains and courted death; That father perish'd at the stake For tenets he would not forsake; And for the same his lineal race In darkness found a dwelling-place; We were seven - who now are one, Six in youth, and one in age, Finish'd as they had begun, Proud of Persecution's rage; One in fire, and two in field, Their belief with blood have seal'd, Dying as their father died, For the God their foes denied; Three were in a dungeon cast, Of whom this wreck is left the last. II
There are seven pillars of Gothic mould, In Chillon's dungeons deep and old, There are seven columns, massy and grey, Dim with a dull imprison'd ray, A sunbeam which hath lost its way, And through the crevice and the cleft Of the thick wall is fallen and left; Creeping o'er the floor so damp, Like a marsh's meteor lamp: And in each pillar there is a ring, And in each ring there is a chain; That iron is a cankering thing, For in these limbs its teeth remain, With marks that will not wear away, TIll I have done with this new day, Which now is painful to these eyes, Which have not seen the sun so rise For years - I cannot count them o'er, I lost their long and heavy score When my last brother drooped and died, And I lay living by his side. III
They chain'd us each to a column stone, And we were three - yet, each alone; We could not move a single pace, We could not see each other's face, But with that pale and livid light That made us strangers in our sight: And thus together - yet apart, Fetter'd in hand, but join'd in heart, 'Twas still some solace, in the dearth Of the pure elements of earth, To hearken to each other's speech, And each turn comforter to each With some new hope, or legend old, So song heroically bold; But even these at length grew cold. Our voices took on a dreary tone, And echo of the dungeon stone, A grating sound, not full and free, As they of yore were wont to be; It might be fancy - but to me They never sounded like our own. IV
I was the eldest of the three, And to uphold and cheer the rest I ought to do - and did my best - And each did well in his degree. The youngest, whom my father loved, Because our mother's brow was given To him, with eyes as blue as heaven - For him my soul was sorely moved: And truly might it be distress'd To see such a bird in such a nest; For he was as beautiful as day - (When day was beautiful to me As to young eagles, being free) - A polar day, which will not see A sunset till its summer's gone, Its sleepless summer of long light, The snow-clad offspring of the sun: And thus he was as pure and bright, And in his natural spirit gay, With tears for nought but other's ills, And then they flow'd like mountain rills, Unless he could assuage the woe Which he abhorr'd to view below. V
The other was as pure of mind, But form'd to combat with his kind; Strong in frame, and of a mood Which 'gainst the world in war had stood, And perish'd in the foremost rank With joy: - but not in chains to pine: His spirit wither'd with their clank, I saw it silently decline - And so perchance in sooth did mine: But yet I forced it on to cheer Those relics of a home so dear. He was a hunter of the hills, Had follow'd there the deer and wolf; To him this dungeon was a gulf, And fetter'd feet the worst of ills. VI
Lake Leman lies by Chillon's walls: A thousand feet in depth below Its massy waters meet and flow: Thus much the fathom-line was sent From Chillon's snow-white battlement, Which round about the wave inthrals: A double dungeon wall and wave Have made - and like a living grave Below the surface of the lake The dark vault lies wherein we lay, We heard it ripple night and day; Sounding o'er our heads it knock'd; And I have felt the winter's spray Wash through the bars when winds were high And wanton in the happy sky; And then the very rock hath rock'd, And I have felt it shake, unshock'd, Because I could have smiled to see The death that would have set me free. VII
I said my nearer brother pined, I said his mighty heart declined, He loathed and put away his food; It was not that 'twas coarse and rude, For we were used to hunter's fare, And for the like had little care: The milk drawn from the mountain goat Was changed for water from the moat, Our bread was such as captives' tears Have moisten'd many a thousand years Since man first pent his fellow men Like brutes within an iron den; But what were these to us or him? These wasted not his heart or limb; My brother's soul was of that mould Which in a palace had grown cold, Had his free breathing been denied The range of the steep mountain's side; But why delay the truth? - he died. I saw, and could not hold his head, Nor reach his dying hand - nor dead, - Though hard I strove, but stove in vain To rend and gnash my bonds in twain. He died - and they unlock'd his chain, And scoop'd for him a shallow grave Even from the cold earth of our cave. I begg'd them, as a boon, to lay His corse in dust whereon the day Might shine - it was a foolish thought, But then within my brain it wrought, That even in death his freeborn breast In such a dungeon could not rest. I might have spared my idle prayer - They coldly laugh'd - and laid him there: The flat and turfless earth above The being we so much did love; His empty chain above it leant, Such murder's fitting monument! VIII
But he, the favorite and the flower, Most cherish'd since his natal hour, His mother's image in fair face, The infant love of all his race, His martyr'd father's dearest thought, My latest care, for whom I sought To hoard my life, that his might be Less wretched now, and one day free; He, too, who yet had held untired A spirit natural or inspired - He, too, was struck, and day by day Was wither'd on the stalk away. Oh, God! it is a fearful thing To see the human soul take wing In any shape, in any mood: I've seen it rushing forth in blood, I've seen it on the breaking ocean Strive with a swoln convulsive motion, I've seen the sick and ghastly bed Of Sin delirious with its dread: But those were horrors - this was woe Unmix'd with such - but sure and slow; He faded, and so calm and meek, So softly worn, so sweetly weak, So tearless, yet so tender, kind, And grieved for those he left behind; With all the while a cheek whose bloom Was as a mockery of the tomb, Whose tints as gently sunk away As a departing rainbow's ray; An eye of most transparent light, That almost made the dungeon bright, And not a word of murmur - not A groan o'er his untimely lot, - A little talk of better days, A little hope my own to raise, For I was sunk in silence - lost In this last loss, of all the most; And then the sighs he would suppress Of fainting nature's feebleness, More slowly drawn, grew less and less: I listen'd, but I could not hear; I call'd, for I was wild with fear; I knew 'twas hopeless, but my dread Would not be thus admonished; I call'd, and thought I heard a sound - I burst my chain with one strong bound, And rush'd to him: - I found him not, I only stirr'd in this black spot, I only lived, I only drew The accursed breath of dungeon-dew; The last, the sole, the dearest link Between me and the eternal brink, Which bound me to my failing race, Was broken in this fatal place. One on earth, and one beneath - My brothers - both had ceased to breathe: I took that hand that lay so still, Alas! my own was full as chill; I had not the strength to stir, or strive, But felt that I was still alive - A frantic feeling, when we know That what we love shall ne'er be so. I know not why I could not die, I had no earthly hope - but faith, And that forbade a selfish death. IX
What next befell me then and there I know not well - I never knew - First came the loss of light, and air, And then of darkness too: I had no thought, no feeling - none - Among the stones I stood a stone, And was, scare conscious what I wist, As shrubless crags within the mist; For all was blank, and bleak, and grey; It was not night - it was day; It was not even the dungeon-light, So hateful to my heavy sight, But vacancy absorbing space, And fixedness - without a place; There were no stars - no earth - no time - No check - no change - no good, no crime - But silence, and a stirless breath Which neither was of life nor death; A sea of stagnant idleness, Blind, boundless, mute, and motionless! X
A light broke in upon my brain, - It was the carol of a bird; It ceased, and then it came again, The sweetest song ear ever heard, And mine was thankful till my eyes Ran over with the glad surprise, And they that moment could not see I was the mate of misery; But then by dull degrees came back My senses to their wonted track; I saw the dungeon walls and floor Close slowly round me as before, I saw the glimmer of the sun Creeping as it before had done, But through the crevice where it came That bird was perch'd, as fond and tame, And tamer than upon the tree; A lovely bird, with azure wings, And song that said a thousand things, And seem'd to say them all for me! I never saw its like before, I ne'er shall see its likeness more: It seem'd to me to want a mate, But was not half so desolate, And it was come to love me when None lived to love me so again, And cheering from my dungeon's brink, Had brought me back to feel and think. I know not if it late were free, Or broke its cage to perch on mine, But knowing well captivity. Sweet bird! I could not wish for thine! Or if it were, in winged guise, A visitant from Paradise; For - Heaven forgive that thought; the while Which made me both to weep and smile - I sometimes deem'd that it might be My brother's soul come down to me; But then at last away it flew, And then 'twas mortal well I knew, For he would never thus have flown, And left me twice so doubly lone, - Lone as the corse within its shroud, Lone as a solitary cloud, A single cloud on a sunny day, While all the rest of heaven is clear, A frown upon the atmosphere, That hath no business to appear When skies are blue, and earth is gay. XI
A kind of change came in my fate, My keepers grew compassionate; I know not what had made them so, They were inured to sights of woe, But so it was; - my broken chain With links unfasten'd did remain, And it was to liberty to stride Along my cell from side to side, And up and down, and then athwart, And tread it over every part; And round the pillars one by one, Returning where my walk begun, Avoiding only, as I trod, My brothers' graves without a sod; For if I thought with heedless tread My step profaned their lowly bed, My breath came gaspingly and thick, And my crush'd heart fell blind and sick. XII
I made a footing in the wall, I was not there from to escape, For I had buried one and all Who loved me in a human shape; And the whole earth would henceforth be A wider prison unto me: No child - no sire - no kin had I No partner in my misery; I thought of this, and I was glad, For thought of them had made me mad; But I was curious to ascend To my barr'd windows, and to bend Once more, upon the mountains high, The quiet of a loving eye. XIII
I saw them - and they were the same, They were not changed like me in frame; I saw their thousand years of snow Oh high - their wide long lake below, And the blue Rhone in fullest flow; I heard the torrents leap and gush O'er channell'd rock and broken bush; I saw the white-wall'd distant town, And whiter sails go skimming down; And then there was a little isle, Which in my very face did smile, The only one in view; A small green isle, it seem'd no more, Scarce broader than my dungeon floor, But in it there were three tall trees, And o'er it blew the mountain breeze, And by it there were waters flowing, And on it there were young flowers growing, Of gentle breath and hue. The fish swam by the castle wall, And they seem'd joyous each and all; The eagle rode the rising blast, Methought he never flew so fast As then to me he seem'd to fly; And then new tears came in my eye, And I felt troubled - and would fain I had not left my recent chain; And when I did descend again, The darkness of my dim abode Fell on me as a heavy load; It was as is a new-dug grave, Closing o'er one we sought to save, - And yet my glance, too much opprest, Had almost need of such a rest. XIV It might be months, or years, or days - I kept no count, I took no note - I had no hope my eyes to raise, And clear them of their dreary mote; At last men came to set me free; I ask'd not why, and reck'd not where; It was at length the same to me, Fetter'd or fetterless to be, I learn'd to love despair. And thus when they appear'd at last, And all my bond aside were cast, These heavy walls to me had grown A hermitage - and all my own! And half I felt as they were come To tear me from a second home: With spiders I had friendship made, And watch'd them in their sullen trade, Had seen the mice by moonlight play, And why should I feel less than they? We were all inmates of one place, And I, the monarch of each race, Had power to kill - yet, strange to tell! In quiet we had learn'd to dwell; My very chains and I grew friends, So much a long communion tends To make us what we are: - even I Regain'd my freedom with a sigh. 5/25/2009 关于还没当爸爸和准爸爸的声明没想到一石激起千层浪～～
上一篇日志《当爸爸的准备》，只是本人在好友迅速荣升为爸爸后的一点感悟和自我安慰，特在此郑重声明：
本人没有成为父亲或一个准父亲，关于下一代的培养问题目前仍未纳入日程。若因日志《当爸爸的准备》中的内容给大家造成的各种误解及猜测，本人深表歉意及遗憾……
汗～ |
微微的宇宙快乐随性，痛苦随缘
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